Why Does My Cat Knead Me but Not My Husband?

Written by

Amy Sawy

Veterinarian. DVM


Joseph M. Plummer

Veterinarian, DVM, MVZ

why does my cat knead me but not my husband

Why does my cat knead me but not my husband? When it comes to pets, cats are the most popular choice among owners. They’re tiny, adorable, charming, and lovely. Cats come in a variety of breeds, but they always like to socialize with their owners.

We may say that cats follow a set of rules in order to get along with their owners. If you meet all of the conditions listed below, cats may prefer to knead you over others.

Why Does My Cat Knead Me


The main reason why cats knead is impossible to comprehend rationally. Similarly, you won’t be able to tell why cats choose to knead one person over another, but we may speculate that it has something to do with affection for that human.

The question “why my cat knead on me” will be the subject of today’s article, which will be based on many intriguing theories and perspectives from individuals who know about kneading cats well.

1. Liking and Bonding

Anyone may infer that the cats’ behavior of kneading is the consequence of a fondness for a certain person.

Kneading is a type of behavior that expresses emotions of contentment and safety. So, you can infer that a cat kneading you means she is more attached to you than to your husband.

You could recommend that he spend time with the pet. Develop a closer relationship with the pet and see whether the pet ends up kneading him as well.

2. Your close relationship with the cat

A cat appears to acquire a predilection for individuals who play with her all of the time. In addition, if you feed her, clean her litter, and groom her properly, the cat will knead on you and immediately bond with you.

Now, you may remember that the actions described above are done by you rather than your husband. If that’s the case, it’s time to switch roles. Show your husband how you do these things and remind him not to be a slacker when it comes to cat care and play with them.

3. Your clothing

Cats are said to have sunk their claws into soft, cuddly objects. Your cat is probably attempting to knead you since you constantly wear soft and comfy clothes like wool sweaters and loose shirts.

If you’re still perplexed as to why “the cat kneading me but not my husband”, try noticing if your cat kneads you when you’re wearing warm clothing. Then you’ll understand the enigma around your cat’s kneading selections.

Or it might be your scent of clothing, or you are spreading fragrance. It causes cats to knead on you due to attraction. You can double-check when you don’t use any scent.

4. Seeing you as a mother

While it may seem weird and tough to deal with, there’s a chance your kitten believes you’re her mother. Cats usually knead their moms to receive milk. If your cat’s been with you since a young age, it’s possible she sees you as a parental figure.

So, if your cat is kneading on you because she believes you’re her mother, I don’t think the cat will knead your husband.

5. Habit of sitting still

Some cats don’t like to jump on individuals who move frequently. When your cat thinks you’re a piece of dough, it’s not easy for you to ignore her. Some people tend to avoid or move away from a cat when said cat tries to knead them.

Your cat might not knead on your husband because she believes your husband lacks the strength to sit still while she does so. And the reason your cat kneads you and not anybody else is that you sitting still allows her to relax.

6. Gender Bias

It’s possible that cats will knead women because they are usually the one who feeds and looks after them.

Females, whether they are dealing with humans or animals, tend to be more patient and compassionate. They often have a natural need to care for others and behave as a mother figure. This is quite prevalent not just in people, but also in animals.

Female cats, interestingly, are the ones that constantly look after their kittens, giving them milk and licking them regularly to keep them clean. Male dad cats typically lack affection for their youngsters and are preoccupied with other things rather than caring for their children.

So, if you look closely, it’s not the gender that draws a kitten to its owner, but rather the care. It’s possible that you look after your cat more out of maternal instinct, while your husband spends his leisure time playing video games. This might explain why “the kitten kneading me but not my hubby.”

7. Kneading before napping

Before going to sleep, many cats like to knead. If your cat can’t find a companion to knead, she’ll knead a garment or a blanket before lying down and getting lost in a dreamland of rodents and bugs.

As a result, if you’re wondering “why cat keeps kneading me,” maybe she wants to sleep on you. Because your spouse isn’t present when your cat needs to sleep, your cat isn’t likely to knead him. Have your husband sit in front of your cat the next time she seems like she might take a nap and see if she kneads him.

Why Do Cats Knead People

Why do cats knead in the first place?

When a kitten is eating, you’ll see it make a bread-kneading motion with its paws. This action bonds the kitty and its mom. Cat kneading is feline behavior connected with comfort and good sentiments in cats, and this habit and feeling are carried over into adulthood.

So, even though your cat isn’t a kitten anymore, it still wants to knead, especially when it’s near something soothing or someone it cares about.

If your cat kneads you, it’s a behavior of love, affection, security, and trust. When your cat kneads you, you’ll notice that its eyes get a bit dreamy and somewhat closed.

Frequently Asked Questions


Do male cats have a preference for female owners?

The cat is more attracted to female owners, according to certain research. Softer tones, maternal impulses, feminine touch, and increased interactions might be some of the causes. Your cat, on the other hand, may adore your husband, but she may not seem to like spending time with him.

While my cat is kneading, why is she looking at me?

If your cat is kneading while gazing at you, it is happy, comfortable, and secure in your lap. Perhaps because you remind the cat of its mother, it enjoys kneading you.

Does the cat have a favorite person?

Yes, cats tend to be close to someone, especially if they get more attention and affection from one person. They are attracted to someone who is interested in them. It can also be because of your scent, the way you take care of them, or the clothes you wear.

Why is my cat suddenly so clingy?

A clingy cat is an insecure cat. It is often observed in adopted kittens and cats who are experiencing fear. Your cat may become clingy suddenly due to loud thunder, people cramming in your house, or if you’ve just moved into a new household.


To summarize, cat kneading is an instinctive action that results in good sentiments and emotions.

And they frequently select their favorite member of the family to do the kneading. Remember that kneading is linked to the cat’s mother — therefore, you’ve effectively become their human parent if your cat kneads you! Hopefully, you’ve figured out “why does my cat knead me but not my husband.”

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